empty space, insert here

My mind is working backwords today. I want to say something profound, something that will change a life, will cause thought or sight or insight or give birth to an idea or inspire a life. I have so many thoughts and Ideas and Thoughts and ideas and they all run when I try to speak them out. Patience, be calm and wait for them to come to me to chose their own time of speaking and thinking and weeding out the old and the new and giving life to themselves. How can that be!! how can anything give life to itself, it must have a maker, a potter, a creator/master. I own myself! do I? I’m not sure. The wind wistles through my head leaving the scent of cherries and names.

poem on soul

If I had a soul. I would know
No, I would know. Know, I would.
If I had a soul.

The space where nothing

Silence.
More please.

Quiet.
It’s too much.

InBetween I find what I lost. In the space where nothing is where I find me.

This Too Shall Pass

DEPRESSION
I guess I’m goin’ through a funk… I’m dissatisfied with my life and I’m not sure what it is I need.. I have an idea that it might be that I need a girl or a distraction. I have 4 yrs. to decide what to do with my life, 4 yrs to make a plan or have an idea. I wish I could write my life. It would be so much more than what it is, I could, I could; but I couldn’t. I would still be who I am and I think, not sure, but I think there is something wrong. ( my own laughter irritates me )
Give it time kid. You don’t know your own worth.
My life is not my own, I am owned by the gods and dance in their courts. I’m empty yet full of what could  be…Potential movement; the world is held in motionless motion. 
 
LONELINESS
Energy potential. I’m starting to see into people, when I look into their eyes I see… Their potential energy. I saw 2 hookers the other day, one was empty of herself, full of what others saw and said. The other was a stone, a chunk of granite sitting where it landed and not yet to be moved, frustrated with life but at terms with her place in it.
“Hows business?” “Fukin’ horrible. Everyone turns gay during the holidays.”
I want a damaged girl I can fix up and send on her way…  i think im going crazy.
[what would a hand writing expert say about my writing?] 
I want to own my own little place so I can write on every surface, all the walls, and draw wherever I want.

[ BLANK ]

Lonely. Tired. Bored. Nothing stirs and Nothing motivates. I am sitting and stareing and wondering if I can get up.
Empty. Tired. Alone. Nothing gives what I need. I dont know, but have an idea. Nothing takes or makes me fight.
Alone. Tired. Depresed. Nothing brings me fear; I have no needs. I have no words just drops of lead to ThuD onto the page.
Depresed. Tired. Blank.  

GothiqueFae’s world

I would just like to welcome Ms. Fae and share with you my sibling’s world. She is better than me in every way with words, she brings feeling and life to the page:

GothiqueFae’s Weblog