Last

This will be my last post on this blog. I may or may not start another one at some unknown time in some unknown future. There are many things I didn’t post on; sex, drugs, rock and roll, the church, everyday happenings. But thats not important, in fact not too much of anything is too terribly important. What is important is Life. People forget to live sometimes, they get involved with everyday and forget to look up, look around and… fucking smile just to smile, laugh because the world is there running in its little gerbil ball around the sun and we’re along for the ride or cry or just stand there and feel your heart beat. I’m talking about being alive not just living, people all over just live, its boring and it kills. There is a quote that floats around, says “live life to its fullest” we forget the important part of that sentence ‘live life’! “Be here now” “Live in the moment”, once again the beginning of those sentences is the important part ‘Be’, ‘Live’. People need to pull their head out of their collective asses and smell the fucking roses! I guess my last post is to be a rant and not a very good one at that. Life is all we have on this earth, its Gods gift that we, of all the animals, can recognise it and enjoy it, sadly we can also destroy it or worse forget about it.

There was a man standing there with a far and distant stare I asked him what he was looking at at and he said shhhh so I took a silent step back, in time he bowed to the horrizon turned and walked away, I smiled, I didn’t expect to see God today.

And so ends this wonderful experiment/experience thank you for your patients.

agitated

I feel agitated, upset at the past. I feel helpless and lost, I feel impotent. I am nagged by a sensation that I missed what I was supposed to, that I missed what I could have and settled for something less. I feel there is magic in the world and that I am too mundane to see it. I feel heartbroken and failed. I feel old but I was born only yesterday.

Well that was depressing… So Be It!

I think I may be too empathetic. Pathetic being the operational word. I’m cynical and hard, compromised and solid. I am an everchanging Rock. My heart is as open-wide as my eyes. My heart is hardened and my soul was/is pure. The journey is long but we don’t care to think on the destination; the destination will get here when it will, without our help. On the road I decided to travel through the fields, in the fields I found my way back to the road, from there I went to swim in the river to fetch up on an unknown beach. Through this wilderness then I travel, fearless and afraid. I had a map for the road but I left it when I left it. Back before the fields in the land of sunrises and promises.

And the root of the problem is: “I don’t Know”.

Do I need to know though?

I don’t know.

Shorts II

Nothin’ change huh?
Nothin’ much.
Its all the same huh?
To the touch.

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Sleep it off and give it up
Take it off and give it up
Make it up and make it right
Live your life on saturday nights

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take and take and take and give
what i want is to make amends
~
give and give and give and take
what i need is to validate

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I hate my Honesty, it makes me tell the truth.
I hate my Reality, it keeps me real.

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Its seems that famous quotes are always written and read the same way, with the same inflections and the same timing.

Conversations with a Mirror

“Shutting down now,” Go to sleep.
“Forget you saw,” Don’t repeat.
“Ignore and turn away,” You didn’t see.
Flaws and failures, There still a mystery.
“Just shine and shine,” Cover up so much.
Truth is blind so don’t even touch.

“I don’t ask this lightly I expect you to comply
if at first you don’t succeed then just lie lie lie.
Its a simple favor really to just turn the other way
its a game you see, to win you must play play play.
Its a masquerade, it’ll be fun, here’s the mask I made.
So like your face they wont recognize, its you in disguise.
So straighten your collar, square you shoulders, lift your chin
go out the door and down the steps, and forget where you’ve been.”

Staring into eyes of my own not my own yet I know them.
I blink, stare, turn slightly watching me watching me.
I smile and wave, turn around. I wonder: am I still watching me?
Turn quickly but I’m too fast for me, there I am staring back at me.

“The Prison” A brief Review

Skin deep, no more
My spirit seeks, it doesnt soar
Ankle-chained to granite flesh

This was inspired by a short that ms. Gothiquefae wrote and shared with me. The piece was very emotional.

I am therefore

To believe and have faith is to give life to the unexisting the unimaginable, to have miracles and gods.  I believe in my existence and I believe in yours and I believe that my beliefs don’t mean a damn thing. Only my beliefs shape my world, open my eyes and heart to things so I can see/feel them. What I believe in probably existed or was or had form and purpose before my faith was invested, but to me they were nothing.

“if i believe
in death be sure
of this
it is” -e.e. cummings