I feel agitated, upset at the past. I feel helpless and lost, I feel impotent. I am nagged by a sensation that I missed what I was supposed to, that I missed what I could have and settled for something less. I feel there is magic in the world and that I am too mundane to see it. I feel heartbroken and failed. I feel old but I was born only yesterday.
Well that was depressing… So Be It!
I think I may be too empathetic. Pathetic being the operational word. I’m cynical and hard, compromised and solid. I am an everchanging Rock. My heart is as open-wide as my eyes. My heart is hardened and my soul was/is pure. The journey is long but we don’t care to think on the destination; the destination will get here when it will, without our help. On the road I decided to travel through the fields, in the fields I found my way back to the road, from there I went to swim in the river to fetch up on an unknown beach. Through this wilderness then I travel, fearless and afraid. I had a map for the road but I left it when I left it. Back before the fields in the land of sunrises and promises.
And the root of the problem is: “I don’t Know”.
Do I need to know though?
I don’t know.
Categories: Musings · Philosophy · Self-image · casting pearls · depression · life · random · random thoughts · self knowledge · talking · thoughts · writing
Tagged: depression, emotions, life, life's journey, self-knowing, soul searching
I am a Porcupine
a Prickly pear
Did not mean to be
But its for my safety
First I built walls
But I couldn’t get out
I lived in a glass house
It broke
I ran to the Hills
I just got lost
So better to be Prickly Than remote
People still get Close
Then they don’t
Being a porcupine is easier
I can get close
W/out touch or contacting
I can insulate w/out Disappearing
Categories: Musings · Self-image · casting pearls · life · peotry · relationships · self knowledge · talking · thoughts · writing
Tagged: antisocial, introvert, living, peotry
Lonely. Tired. Bored. Nothing stirs and Nothing motivates. I am sitting and stareing and wondering if I can get up.
Empty. Tired. Alone. Nothing gives what I need. I dont know, but have an idea. Nothing takes or makes me fight.
Alone. Tired. Depresed. Nothing brings me fear; I have no needs. I have no words just drops of lead to ThuD onto the page.
Depresed. Tired. Blank.
Categories: Musings · Ramblings · Self-image · life · random · writing
Tagged: depression
