My Catharsis

If I write everyday It keeps demons at bay.

Livin’ a lie
Hopin’ to fly
Away
To a place called home

Information is God… …or is it Knowledge?
…Is Knowledge Wisdom or is Experience?
What is God.

Nervous Tick (le)

Bad Habit=Lewd Nun

Scribble Scribble
Seems the same. From up here.
Well down here. It’s better.

Ideas/Thoughts on paper are so much better than in the head; they don’t jumble about as much. On paper they reach a steady state, immobile & clean. A specimen that can be examined and corrected.

agitated

I feel agitated, upset at the past. I feel helpless and lost, I feel impotent. I am nagged by a sensation that I missed what I was supposed to, that I missed what I could have and settled for something less. I feel there is magic in the world and that I am too mundane to see it. I feel heartbroken and failed. I feel old but I was born only yesterday.

Well that was depressing… So Be It!

I think I may be too empathetic. Pathetic being the operational word. I’m cynical and hard, compromised and solid. I am an everchanging Rock. My heart is as open-wide as my eyes. My heart is hardened and my soul was/is pure. The journey is long but we don’t care to think on the destination; the destination will get here when it will, without our help. On the road I decided to travel through the fields, in the fields I found my way back to the road, from there I went to swim in the river to fetch up on an unknown beach. Through this wilderness then I travel, fearless and afraid. I had a map for the road but I left it when I left it. Back before the fields in the land of sunrises and promises.

And the root of the problem is: “I don’t Know”.

Do I need to know though?

I don’t know.

1of2 unfinished. Same topic

I am a Porcupine
a Prickly pear
Did not mean to be
But its for my safety

First I built walls
But I couldn’t get out
I lived in a glass house
It broke
I ran to the Hills
I just got lost

So better to be Prickly                            Than remote
People still get Close
Then they don’t

Being a porcupine is easier
I can get close
W/out touch or contacting
I can insulate w/out Disappearing

Conversations with a Mirror

“Shutting down now,” Go to sleep.
“Forget you saw,” Don’t repeat.
“Ignore and turn away,” You didn’t see.
Flaws and failures, There still a mystery.
“Just shine and shine,” Cover up so much.
Truth is blind so don’t even touch.

“I don’t ask this lightly I expect you to comply
if at first you don’t succeed then just lie lie lie.
Its a simple favor really to just turn the other way
its a game you see, to win you must play play play.
Its a masquerade, it’ll be fun, here’s the mask I made.
So like your face they wont recognize, its you in disguise.
So straighten your collar, square you shoulders, lift your chin
go out the door and down the steps, and forget where you’ve been.”

Staring into eyes of my own not my own yet I know them.
I blink, stare, turn slightly watching me watching me.
I smile and wave, turn around. I wonder: am I still watching me?
Turn quickly but I’m too fast for me, there I am staring back at me.